Emmilly

Monday, February 02, 2009
Emmilly Current mood: grateful

Next Blog I write = I wanted it to be about my number one happiness. This is dedicated to my sister.

That was the note I wrote (on the 6th of Jan) to remind myself about what my next entry should be about. Like I wouldn't have thought to do it again! Really, Shailee, come on....ok, maybe it was wise, seeing as it staves off my sickness to write about the usual things I do...Speaking of which: As all things go, I can't resist to gush about the regular two things before I get started. 1. Music - I just added a couple of new people to my 'Friends' list who are very good musicians, and by-golly-gosh nothing warms my heart faster than music, and new music at that. 2. I read another Jim Beaver blog. Ahh (sigh). The only thing about writing this blog that I have apprehension about, is not doing it as eloquently, sophisticated and poetically as Jim would do. But I'll try.

She is the exact and yet contrary being to me. That is the definition of a twin. I don't want to list her achievements and material possessions so as to not sound like I'm writing an obituary, but rather highlight the small things that inevitably is what makes every-day people like you and me feel safe and trusting towards others. [First thing I did, so I wouldn't forget, was tell you 'what I am listening to' ]- the reason is that in her honour I wanted to display her favourite song. And although arguably I'm sure she'll say its Jet's 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl', I'll tell you that this song has all her epic qualities. There is no complex guitar or drums rock n' roll rift to distract you from the simple, upbeat melody of this song. To put it lightly...if you could hear what smiling sounded like, this song would be it.

I am by no means flustered or giddy writing this blog because of anything nice Emmilly has done for me....I simply thought it was time to introduce you/me to the most precious part of my life. She isn't excentric or sluty..a fear only recently crossing my mind, because in all those American movies one sister is quite and demure and the other is flirty and sexual. My sister is neither. She is strong. I can't even handle the thought that my parents disaprove of something or disagree with me, or feel that I need some advice. But my sister takes each of thier (sometimes unadaulterated) advice with a grain of salt. Is that the right saying? In any case her patience and inner strength to take a painful situation in a light way to me, is pure power. On the other hand she doesn't have confidence in herself, especially social events, which to me, make her seem a little awkward....but the boys don't seem to notice! I can't imagine what would happen when she realise how 'wow' fantastic she is...do you think she'll only look back to take pity of the rest of us who can never find the inner strength to resist pain from those closest to us? Lets not be so dramatic (not that it can be helped, I'm listening to Matthew Ryan's 'Some Streets Lead Nowhere'), parents only want the best for thier kids, but some parents just know how to say it, when, and in the way the message of thier love can get through...not the wrongs of the child.

Back to the point... my sister is fantastic because she will borrow my things, ask me to find/get her things when they are clearly in front of her(!) and expects me to come to her room when she calls, but not the other way round, annoys, pesters and bothers me, but when I sit in my room, writing, listening to music and being all round anti-social (...I just prefer the quite!) she will come to my room to talk and MAKE me get involved; not relenting till I am up and going to see the friends, or shops, or run or whatever. She makes me live. She is the line that points to where my next adventure, laugh and memorable moment will come from. Regardless of my moods and protests, she keeps coming back.

I could write forever offcourse, about her laugh where it grows louder to sound like a cross between a hiccup and giggle, and the way her nose wrinkles and eyes squint when she smiles, or how she has to re-write something if its not neat, or how she orders her cupbaord in tops, skirts, jackets...and colour coded, how she reads the dictionary for fun, how she prefers to put blue eye liner rather than black so that eyes stand out on their own, how she likes to make her bed every day...with all 100000000 pillows in their place, how she never hugs, how she whines when she is claustrophobic after...a few hours in the house, when it a beautiful day, how she talks about the weather like its a gift just for her, how her room is blue, and how if you didn't know her you'd assume (becuase of her blue eyes and rosey complextion) that she was some-kind-of English maiden that infact she is goofy and young and green

......and how she is my sister who in few moments, surprises me with her accurate knowledge of me, not just because we share our life memory, but the way I know that she knows how I will act in a new situation, and that is the epitome of feeling safe. A friend for life, and the after-life...my sister Emmilly.

Currently listening:Are You Still Having FunBy Eagle-Eye CherryRelease date: 2002-07-18