Blog 16

Date: 05 Sep 2009
Current mood: restless
Category: Life

Dear Me,

So much has happened, so many new thoughts, and I have waited far to long to write them all down. While many categories fit this day's blog, I can always rely on myself to provide me an easy out for the subject; "Blog 16". :P

So my tales are spun like this: I am now involved with AUJS UNSW in a serious way, dedicated to proactive advocacy, learning about the Middle East, public affairs and the Young Liberal Party. I am staring down the possibility of becoming UNSWAUJS President (or 'Chair' or whatever they are changing the name to...)but it all comes at a price.

My dream of going to UTS to study B Communications (Public Communications)/ International Studies is slipping away because you need to average a Distinction, and at this point, a low Credit will do. Its not that its hard, its just that I haven't been inspired and dedicated. For me, the work in AUJS is far more compelling.And the delima (not sure how you spell and refuse to check...) is that if by some miracle I get into UTS i will not be the President because its a new campus, all over again. However, I dont feel ready to be the President yet, becaue while I may be able to organise the day-to-day operations (with HELP!), so much of being the Head means that have to keep an eye on the Socialist Alternative (like Simon and other members do, to make sure that we fight against their bias and wrong doings on campus) or to liase and know who to contact and what to do in many different situations. After all I am the top of a very important society on campus, and that resposibility ways heavily on me.

Moreover, I still dont think that I will get into UTS, so if I dont run for this position (and at the moment it seems I am the only most committed and prepared to learn and take upon myself these issues) I will regret not using this opportunity. Perhaps I mustn't disclose that I am applying for UTS, because the positions are elected on October 1st and acceptance into UTS comes early next year.

In saying this, if I dont run for President, and I dont get into UTS, it will be a year wasted that I will regret very much. However if I do run for President, apply for UTS, dont get in (which dont get me wrong, I will be VERY unhappy about) Emm has said that perhaps it will take too much time, and I wont be able to concentrate on my studies to try again the following year.

These are the issues that face me now.

Wonderful things have happened too! While a confusing situation is prevelant as I mentioned above, these are definatly the sorts of things I am glad to be having as part of my strife at Uni! I recently said to my mum, that I am exactly were I want to be in my life and that makes me happy each day.

I recently attended a National Political Training Seminar held in Canberra. What an amazing experience! I got to not only meet many politicians but also mix with the leaders or tomorow. TOTALLY CLICHE I know, but you couldn't help but feel a spark of passion around some of these people that cared enough to teach themselves about politics, then debate and challenge everything. We also got to meet Young Labor representatives from South Australia, Queensland and everywhere else, who were not Jewish, but had a deep love and understanding of the situation in the Middle East, and thus their support is more than words can articulate.

Besides somesuprisingly fun evenings at the bars, plenty of attention from everyone, and even a memorable moment, when I asked Mike Kelley how he would respond to someone if they said they beleived in peace, but not reached through vilent and military actions, he replied "there are some people you just have to kill". And THAT made the entire trip worth more that I thought it could! This was a man was an invalauble asset in Parliament and I am glad that I got to thank him for talking to us, and a photo to prove it.

At this time, it is nice to know that those from as far as Perth, as low as South Australia and as near as Melbourne from this trip have stayed friends (via the powerful medium that is facebook) and I am really glad to be going down this path, surround by these type of people.

Also, tomorow is the regional PTS, so many of those who came from Sydney will be participating in a two-day event, which ofcourse I am looking forward too! During the time back from PTS I have continued to stay involved with Jewish activites, going to The Advocacy Program, starting HLI level 2 (coming soon..) atending UTS movie night (with Israeli Film Festival..mum and dad are going out again to watch tonight) and other fun friend related activities. This has all ofcourse put a strain on my budget :)

I also got accepted to LDP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be travelling to Holland, America and Israel for 5 weeks and I can't wait! The interview process made me a little nervous, combined with mum's absence in Melb it was a bit much, but as it is, everything went in the best way possible. It is a difficult time because G G Tzilz is still ill(aka 3 cancers), and we recently came the revalation that Gramz has pancreatic cancer and also has a year, maybe less. So while I am hesitant to leave the family, encase, mum and everyone else says to go, and live your life. So thats what I'll do.

Also, I met a guy during the Pub Crawl, his name is Gabriel Danon, a french student studying abroad, and I am pretty sure he likes me. Its a simple statement, but there it is. While I dont get the same excitement about it, I like being around him only because he challenges me. Not in the disputive kind-of way, but that he is different, has a greater degree of life experience and tells stories in a expert way that is still new to me. We have inadvertadly been on 2 dates, both a pre and post communal event and we are ofcourse still getting to know each other. He is intense, and open with feeling, or at least I feel my walls more than ever with him, because my sarcasm (and saviour) doesn't fit into our conversations. He asked me if I would like him to take my portrat. To show his family the people he met while in Australia. While I have many apprehensions about that, I beleive its genuine, and mostly I just dont think I'm ready to open myself up and be free in the way he wants me to be, in the photograph.

He has a blog site, documenting his time in Australia. (http://gabriel.blogy.fr/?nppage=5&page=1) Its very good and so are the photos he uploaded. This also gave me a great idea about my blogging when I go on LDP.

Lastly, were I want to me, in my career, in my future, in my life IS begining to take shape. I am certain more than ever that you are born, inately with something that guides you. And mine job has always been a socially motivated one. I wanted to go to Africa, to teach, to be a social worker.....
Now I know that at the very least, my life will be meaningless if I dont find a way to become a prominant member in the Jewish community, helping to create programs that will strengthen Australian Jews. I love public affairs, policy, politics. I am growing more in love with Media, social networking and the power of public relations to utilise this to spread messages. It works both ways, and being the 'jewish watchdog' is an important role. If I could combine the influence of Australian politics, with the intellect and education of International Policy, specifically Israel, then that would be my dream job. Or perhaps serving on a board/committee or Think Tank for projects and programs to help my people.

This is were its at. This is my life now. And can you beleive I got through the whole blog without one mention of music?! :D

Its so funny how my diary has gone digital!
ps. Listening to JEFF BUCKLEY - GRACE ...(the Myspace app isnt working)

Sweet Dreams,
Shailee